The moment you declare something fanboys like bad, they will scream for “objectivity” (incidentally, the case in question is about Saladin Ahmed’s Throne of the Crescent Moon and @ChaosTheThird openly admits that Saladin Ahmed is his “buddy,” which surely does endless credit for @ChaosTheThird’s objectivity) and howl that you’re stating your opinions as fact and that’s just not done. You need to read the whole book before you can make judgment! You need to read the whole fucking series or else! Then they’ll turn around and declare Fifty Shades of Gray shit. Sometimes, as in the case of Mr Serial Mansplainer here, without having read it–despite “you haven’t read it/all of it/the whole series” being the axe they’ll grind when they’ve run out of intelligent arguments (and since they are not, on average, intelligent this happens very quickly). (more…)
All posts tagged neckbeard land
Posted by acrackedmoon on September 14, 2012
The other day, Fatihah Iman made a very astute comment in reply to an off-hand tweet I made.
My original remark was, in turn, prompted by this:
No witless female, our Eleanor. She’s scathing and rather wonderful, deeply complex and secretly vulnerable. Just my kind of female protagonist, thank goodness.
But what I really have in mind, specifically, are the punching bags. The men. The men and their strong female characters. There’s nothing male writers and fanboys of a certain stripe love more than talking about strong female characters. The writers will wax rhapsodic over the difficulties of writing from a woman’s perspective (never pausing to think just why it is that women generally have far fewer difficulties writing from men’s), talk at great length about their inspirations–usually “strong female characters” written by other men–and finally pat themselves on the back in a grand show of self-congratulations. The fanboys will join in this ritual of back-pats, ass-pats, and the application of mouths to beards to show what liberal, progressive guys they are. A circle-jerk ensues. The male writer walks away, puffed-up, secure in the assurance that his “feminist” lip service is unassailable.
This is where we draw the Feminazgul great sword Misandry and start swinging.
Posted by acrackedmoon on June 26, 2012
TEN-HUT! ACHTUNG! WHIPS OUT! TODAY WE FLOG A NECKBEARD WITHOUT MERCY; BE RELENTLESS, FRIENDS
Who the fuck is Eric Juneau? Dunno. Edit: a rape apologist who thinks rape survivors are too loud and angry, among other things. Until two days ago I’d never heard of him. What’s drawn my interest is that he has thoughts on writing women (and thoughts on rape), which is kind of like having thoughts on yaoi but more offensive and tiresome. Many thoughts! Oh, so very many thoughts. He is a feminist, self-proclaimed and self-validated–never mind what any woman might say to the contrary. Did I say thoughts? No, what he wants to share with you, ignorant plebs, is his philosophy on writing women.
Most of it is kindergarten neckbeard blather about strong women and similar, drawing from Half-Life of all things, and while tedious, belaboring the obvious and useless–and chock-full of tiresome gamer-speak plus a smug conviction that he knows best–it’s not that offensive until you come to this gem:
I don’t want a character that’s defined by her presence, but by her motivations. She is a person first and a woman after that. A person with characteristics/traits that tend towards womanliness (is that a word?). I don’t characterize her by her body or her boyfriends or yogurt or being inept with technology or doing laundry things. I give her interests and traits universal to any person. Then I layer a thin sheet of woman on it — a little more emotional intensity, a little more nurturing, more connectivity with people. She’s not aggressive and violent, she’s not a linear thinker, not a constant crier, not so goal-focused (though goals are important and necessary, they are less tangible). A Barb Wire, high-heeled, cold warrior bitch is not a woman. It is a woman doing an impression of a man doing an impression of a woman. It’s a fantasy — unrealistic and implausible.
It’s amazing how much a man knows about being a woman, isn’t it? Isn’t “a thin sheet of woman” incredibly creepy and objectifying? Isn’t it presumptuous for him to be going around dictating what a woman is and what is not?
Posted by acrackedmoon on March 16, 2012
PADDLES OUT, FRIENDS; IT IS TIME TO BEAT THE ROTTEN CARCASS OF A DEAD WHITE MAN
Back in June last year I wrote Deconstructing Pointy-Eared White Supremacists. It was one of the most linked things I’ve ever written, even though I didn’t think it addressed anything new or broke new ground. I thought I was, frankly, belaboring the obvious.
I was wrong, of course. There was a number of interesting discussions off the site (some of which I joined). But mostly what happened was a flurry of assorted man-child types who came in, absolutely hysterical, to defend Tolkien from charges of… well, anything actually. It’s that thing again with rabid fanboys thinking that their favorite thing being called -ist or -phobic means it’s a personal assault on their sterling characters–which compels them to not only get particularly shrieky, but also to defend their neckbeard icon in such a way as to make it obvious that they are racist, sexist, and homophobic.
In any case, I’m not interested in further debating why/how Tolkien was a racist, sexist bore: they are evident things, and if you have to ask chances are good you are of the “BUT HE COULD NOT POSSIBLY BEEEEEE” camp. I’m more interested in the wonky mental gymnastics people perform in order to make him out to be the most progressive man of his time (lolno), and the cliches people bust out to further said wonky mental gymnastics. Some of them are conveniently listed here. Please imagine the following parts in bold are spoken by a manchild in a high-pitched, obnoxious voice to best capture the experience of engaging with one of them.
He wasn’t racist! LOOK AT THIS ONE SCENE WHERE SAM FEELS SORRY FOR AN EASTERLING MAN, god!
This is the passage in question:
It was Sam’s first view of a battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it much. He was glad that he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the man’s name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil at heart, or what lies or threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would not really rather have stayed there in peace.
Now please consider that this is the one single solitary passage in the entire trilogy. They comprise of seventy-seven (77) words. What is the total word count for Lord of the Rings as a whole? In the region of 473,000 words, if the google search I did is any indication.
That’s 0.01628% of the text.
Posted by acrackedmoon on January 29, 2012
Let me introduce you to Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist.
But scratch that. If you are an SF/F fan–which you probably are, reading this blog–you likely have heard of him before. Go over there and you’ll see endless splash banners advertising books or tie-in fiction. He’s basically a genre PR bot: all his content is little more than promotional material on top of promotional material, almost as though he is paid by publishing houses to fellate the latest-and-greatest grimdark neckbeard icon, which he might well be. Who knows.
And if you’ve read him for any length of time, you will probably have noticed that he’s a raging douche. I don’t just mean “douche” in a mild, non-specific way, oh no. We are talking about a grade-A sexist, racist fuckwad. The kind that should be put in a meat-grinder: there’d be about twenty people at the ready, vying to press the GRIND GRIND GRIND button. We’d press it until our fingers are raw and Pat nothing more than a memory of fat white meat.
He visited Thailand this one time: Bangkok: Sultry heat, temples, pollution, never-ending noise, and prostitutes. Off to a good start, and we aren’t even out of the subject line.
The upside: I have hundreds of girls after me. The downside: They’re all prostitutes! I mean, even though I knew what to expect, this goes beyond anything I could ever imagine. . .:\
I am amused that this is probably the only time in his life “hundreds of girls” would be after him in any fashion.
I got very close to punching one of them last night, but held off at the last second. You never know if the guy knows a bit of Thai boxing. And it would have done little to help me make my point if I had found myself flat on my back after a vicious kick I never saw coming, right?
I wish he had tried to punch someone and ended up knifed and bleeding from his guts in a dark corner somewhere. And nobody’d have given a shit, because this man’s douchiness is so evident it radiates off him in waves.
Posted by acrackedmoon on January 27, 2012
Back in August Lawrence’s Prince of Thorns came to my attention after this review on Tor.com: “People who like this sort of thing.” Being a review of Mark Lawrence’s Prince of Thorns.
Ah, thought I, yet another shit-brick in the shit-wall of the gritty grimdark feces pyramid. And since I’m on a roll riling up the neckbeards–one of whom, a Grack21, having previously called me a “crazy bitch” absolutely fucking lost his shit in the Westeros.org discussion like so (Kalbear being one of the handful people over there who are reasonable and, y’know, decent human beings):
Hey Kalbear? Fuck you. Fuck you and this fucking horse you rode in on. I don’t know what your goddamn fucking problem is, but I;ve had this discussion about Buffy more times then you probaly ever have, and I could send you fucking books and books of essays on the subject, so shut your goddam fucking mouth. I’m sick of your self righteous bullshit. If this post gets me banned from this goddamn fucking board so be it. Next time I ask for examples, maybe you shouldn’t link to a website that makes wikipedia look like a goddamn master thesis.
I about busted a gut reading that. Oh my. Look at the subhuman little turd utterly flipping out! Truly, my friends, I blog for this. Squeal, privileged piggy, squeal.
So, knowing that Prince of Thorns is another of those iconic neckbeard reads, I felt it only right and proper to give it a walloping what-for. I expected to quote the rapey bits first but, amusingly, this turns out to be the first passage that offends:
Bovid looked up sharp at that, pained and sharp. “H-how old are you, boy?”
Again the “boy.” “Old enough to slit you open like a fat purse,” I said, getting angry now. I don’t like to get angry. It makes me angry. I don’t think he caught even that. I don’t think he even knew it was me that opened him up not half an hour before.
In case you didn’t get it? He’s angry. Why? Because getting angry makes him angry! He is so, so angry and doesn’t like to get angry, as getting angry makes him angry. Angry angry angry.
Keeping in mind that Lawrence has been praised for his beautiful, effective prose. The standards of the genre have never been raised so high.
Posted by acrackedmoon on December 20, 2011
It’s that time of the blog again! You post about things, and neckbeard fanboys get angry. Oh how they are angry. This time it’s reactions to my post on the lesbian rape thing in Abercrombie from the hub of enlightenment and intelligence Westeros.org (as in the forum primarily for A Song of Ice and Fire fans so… yeah). This sounds like a fantastic time to take the usual fanboy abloo-bloo regurgitations to task. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while but refrained from lack of specific quotes. Well, now I no longer lack those. Hallelujah: given just a bit of rope the dudebros always hang themselves. It seems to be a fanboy thing, and most common it seems among the straight white… oh you know the drill.
I’ve come to think of these people as toddlers who were never potty-trained but refuse to wear diapers, by the way, and will treat/address them as such. Sorry about that. Aww who am I kidding, I’m exactly zero sorry.
It’s not so much what shes saying as the way in which she is saying it, with the random all caps sentences accusing Ambercrombie of being a rape monster, etc. Plus the there’s a snide comment down a ways about Ambercrombie fans that makes her sound like….well a bitch.
Yeah, i stand by my crazy bitch statement.
“You’re just a crazy man-hating feminazi bitch, also you are racist to white people.”
This is my favorite one. If it’s in a particularly unmoderated forum there will be “lesbian” thrown in somewhere, as they believe calling someone queer is a deathly insult. I don’t think this one needs examining, merely cataloging as a typical response of the dudebro and naturally replete with misogyny. This argument is generally accompanied by barely-literate typing and general inability to articulate like a human being.
You don’t think those two are linked? They’re all POVs from Aduan people who see the Gurkish as Scary Brown Religious Fanatics – which doesn’t make them right. In fact, considering that Abercrombie frequently uses the whole “turns out he/she was really an asshole from others’ POV” element a lot, I’d take their views of the Gurkish Empire with a massive grain of salt.
“You are interrogating the text from the wrong perspective.”
Posted by acrackedmoon on December 17, 2011