It’s the end of the year and a bunch of genre blogs and websites are doing their unpaid marketing drone bit probably in the hope they’ll get free books and some scraps of attention from publishers or authors. First we have Fantasy Faction’s Top 10 Anticipated Fantasy Books for 2013, a list populated almost entirely by white men from a website catering specifically to neckbeards.
Remember this Liz B review of Theft of Swords? Remember “a chivalrous knight of archaic dimensions”? Yeah, same author, formerly self-published and perpetually redditor Michael J Sullivan. I haven’t read the synopsis and have no idea what this book is about, but going by the cover I’d guess it’s generic as fuck and going by the author’s previous works it is probably about as progressive gender-wise as a Conan story. Verdict: unreadable shit.
What is this shit, a videogame tie-in? Why is the dude to the left shooting at the sky? Anyway, it’s written by a white man and I’m guessing a white man is one of the protagonists (if not the protagonist–which he seems to be going by the plot summary. He’s also in the US army). At a guess this will be neck-deep in racism (but there are token Indian and black men!!!), jingoism, and similar tedium typical of SF by white men. Verdict: burn it.
Their next title is some godawful dreck by Brandon Sanderson, a known homophobic bigot whose one saving grace is that he is less homophobic than Orson Scott Card. I’ve never read Sanderson and don’t intend to, but since he’s finishing Wheel of Time it can be assumed sight unseen that he’s shit and will always write worthless shit. Verdict: worthless shit.
A straight white man who is praised to the sky for some self-righteous response to an obvious bigot posted… five years ago? Seven? Anyway, that’s about his highest point and it’s five-seven years old. Going by his previous input, the book will be entertaining but mindless, not particularly well-written, and will have token “feisty” women (remember that the first book, The Lies of Locke Lamora, contains a fridged woman) thrown in so Lynch can look vaguely feminist next to genre luminaries such as R Scott Bakker, Jim Butcher and GRRM–lofty standards to exceed, no? Verdict: low bars.
Wow, what is this shit, D&D fiction? The height of generic here can only be matched by leather-clad chicks with tramp stamps on urban fantasy covers. The plot summary suggests this is sheer wish-fulfillment Gary Stu garbage of the lowest-common-denominator order. There are dragons in the background! There’s a white man wielding a sword! Holy shit, never seen that before. Verdict: generic excrement.
Back in the days of yore, Liz B (again) reviewed Lawrence’s Prince of Thorns and Lawrence’s editor threw a fit, Lawrence threw a fit, and Lawrence’s fanboys threw a fit. I’m guessing this signifies this book was written and is read by toddlers. For a longer overview of the book–it contains rape queues and assorted super-gritty darkness–take a look here. Jorg, if that’s him on the cover, appears to be wearing a bathrobe this time around and holding up… a crown which a clockface stuck on it? I’m not sure why that is. Maybe Lawrence wants to break into steampunk? Who knows. Anyway it’s probably just as racist, misogynistic and puerile as the first book. Verdict: no excuse to exist.
What the fuck am I seeing? What is that moon? Are they going to burn a witch? What are they even wearing? Anyway, everything already said about Sanderson applies. Verdict: burn in hell.
Orientalist harem fantasy! Cool. You might think this book would have a female protagonist, but of course not–the author is a neckbeard (I can’t recall if he was the one whining about how people will pay for a cup of Starbucks but not his ebooks?). So we have this Gary Stu instead:
Arlen Bales was once an ordinary man, but now he has become something more—the Warded Man, tattooed with eldritch wards so powerful they make him a match for any demon. Arlen denies he is the Deliverer at every turn, but the more he tries to be one with the common folk, the more fervently they believe. Many would follow him, but Arlen’s path threatens to lead to a dark place he alone can travel to, and from which there may be no returning.
No fear though, there’s a “fierce young woman” in there somewhere, presumably as wonderful a feminist icon as River Tam. Verdict: generic shit but with more orientalism.
Athena Andreadis (@AthenaHelivoy)
/ December 28, 2012I thought that “most anticipated fantasy” list was a satire but it’s in dead earnest. Too bad, it could have reached Swiftian heights.
Seamus Scanlon (@SeamusScanlon)
/ December 28, 2012“Peter V. Brett is the perfect example of a modern fantasy author”
The success/praise of Peter V Brett is the perfect example of all that is wrong with modern fantasy.
Avery Shy
/ December 29, 2012:/ I used to love fantasy when I was a kid. Read shit like Eragon. Then I grew up, and I started noticing all the rampant misogyny, the rape tropes, the racism, ect.
Despite this, the whole sword-swinging, dragon-slaying thing still appeals to me. But it seems like every such fantasy novel is infested with straight white Gary Stus and “strong women”. This list is a prime example.
I don’t suppose anyone knows a decent series?
Avery Shy
/ December 29, 2012That comment… was not supposed to go there. :I
meishuu
/ December 30, 2012I can’t really recommend a particular series, since I just not bother with fantasy any more , but I can recommend books like “Sabriel” by Garth Nix, which I enjoyed when I was a teen.(not sure how much it holds up to my current reading standards).
tigerpetals
/ December 31, 2012I thought of some books, but they can all be found through the recommended tag here. Catherynne Valente, Octavia Butler, and others.
I love Patricia McKillip’s books for the beautiful language with good female protagonists, but they are Eurocentric fantasy and as far as I’ve read/remember heterosexual.
tigerpetals
/ January 1, 2013Oh yes, and I loved Sabriel as a teenager too.
I’ve just thought of another that I don’t remember mentioned here: The Djinn in the Nightingale’s Eye by A.S. Byatt. That’s the book with three short stories and one novella of the same title. The language and storytelling are beautiful, though I can’t speak as to the quality of Middle Eastern representation.
grum (@dog_irl)
/ December 28, 2012i read brandon sandersons first trilogy and he spends the better part of 2 books setting up a horrifically transphobic twist. i haven’t really read much fantasy since then
ronanwills
/ December 28, 2012Every so often I go into the fantasy section of a book shop and try to find something worthwhile to read. All I ever see is this- shelves upon shelves of dudes in armor with swords and titles like KNIFE OF THIEVES and KING OF THRONES.
I have read Sanderson and can confirm that he’s…. eh. Some neat ideas here and there but the man writes like someone in early high school. Was not aware that he’s a homophobe, though.
dwimmerlaik81
/ December 29, 2012I’m going to name my first fantasy novel “Knife of Swords.” ;)
tigerpetals
/ December 29, 2012I can also confirm it! The one book I read of his was so generic. It makes me sad that I had already bought another book of his on a recommendation based on the sisterly relationship within. I still haven’t read it. The money could have gone to a different book.
Pear
/ December 28, 2012I made disgusted noises as soon as I saw that very last cover. D:
James Oliver
/ December 28, 2012Considering how Lynch hasn’t delivered a book in five years and hasn’t had much of an online presence either, this seven-year-old blog post getting dredged up and spread around like wildfire would be perplexing if it didn’t have the whiff of someone trying to drag the bloated corpse of a popular series back into relevance. ‘Tis the season for free marketing, may as well put it to good use on the off-chance that the book might actually be published this year.
I think it is Brent Weeks that complains about people complaining about the price of his ebooks, but it is difficult telling the two of them apart.
I’ve been in three book stores in the past week and in each one I headed directly for the SFF section because that is what I am used to and in each one I stood there for a few moments before deciding that I really can’t stand to read this shit anymore.
oakdilettante
/ December 29, 2012I think it is Brent Weeks that complains about people complaining about the price of his ebooks, but it is difficult telling the two of them apart.
so funny b.c I was *sure* it was Michael Sullivan. LOL
tigerpetals
/ December 29, 2012I have not found bookstores with such sections since Borders closed, and maybe that is for the best.
James Oliver
/ December 30, 2012My local Barnes and Noble, Half Price Books, and Generic Ghost-Mall Book Store all have the section. Pretty much the only non-independent book store I’ve seen without a discernible SFF section was a Books-A-Million, but I think they just slap books onto the nearest shelf and call it a day. Independent book stores are another story, I’m sure, but I’ve never actually seen one around here. None of them are as bad as Borders though, since they only give tie-in shit one shelf instead of an entire fucking row.
tigerpetals
/ December 31, 2012There are no English-language bookstores here after Borders left, at least not that I know of, and there are a few small Spanish-language chains I’ve never seen the section in. So yes, the presence of chain bookstores is part of the reason. I went to Books-A-Million when I was in the US a couple of years ago and remember a section, though. The Borders here had a whole section for things like Dragonlance books, so I could avoid them.
samir h. (@ap0cryphal)
/ December 29, 2012Shadow Ops semicolon whatever is actually the second book in the series. The author is a white dudebro, former military serviceman, and a d&d aficionado. which is quite possibly the worst intersection of RAH RAH neckbeard jigonism possible.
i actually tried to read the first book in the series – Shadow Ops semicolon something something, and got maybe twenty pages in before deleting the epub cos if i got to page twenty one i woulda prolly thrown my reader at the fucking wall.
You see, the story background is a generic “what-if normals developed powers” scenario, and a background element is a fundamentalist muslim European Caliphate which apparently goes all salem-witch trials on newly superpowered people. Again: background element.
forget burn pile, this deserves to be at ground zero of a fucking nuke.
magpiewhotypes
/ December 29, 2012“In the wolf dream, Perrin Aybara battles Slayer.”
IN THE WOLF DREAM, PERRIN AYBARA BATTLES SLAYER.
I’m just amazed that those words were ever written in that order. That is some magic shit right there, my friend. Although the emphasis must be put on “shit” rather than “magic.”
the twisted spinster
/ December 30, 2012I dunno why, but I envision a some dude wearing a wolf costume fighting with the members of the band Slayer to a death metal soundtrack.
oakdilettante
/ December 29, 2012This list made me laugh so damn hard. oh man.
and Peter V. Brett…. sigh. I actually really liked The Warded Man despite serious problems it had. But book #2 literally began with a Muslim army invaded WhiteLand and raping all the white women. LITERALLY. I … stopped reading.
commandingpresence21
/ December 29, 2012Does anyone know if there’s a politically correct phrase for tramp stamps?
alinearity
/ December 30, 2012How about a non-pejorative description: tattoos on one’s lower back.
Gourmet Neurovore
/ December 30, 2012Honestly, ‘butt tattoo’ would probably get the message across, depending on how low down it is.
whythebicyclists
/ December 29, 2012Haha… laughs weakly…
Thought I wouldn’t survive reading the list, what with all of the book burning. I’m not familiar with most of the authors, however, most of it appears really boring anyway.
Still, this post twinged my “style over substance” button. But, whatever, style’s good too.
-Backs away cautiously-
Zachary Jernigan (@JerniganZachary)
/ December 29, 2012Judging a book without reading it shows how stupid you are.
Ha. Just kidding. This is great.
Lal
/ December 30, 2012Cheryl Morgan was unimpressed by the “cockforest” of that list, so came up with her own for women writers. Still all white from what I can see, but it’s heading in the right direction at least.
Lal
/ December 30, 2012An actual link might be useful: http://fantasy-faction.com/2012/women-to-watch-out-for-in-2013
Megan J. Jewett
/ December 30, 2012I used to grab random books at the library in the sci-fi/fantasy section but after having The Windup Girl inflicted on me I stopped doing that. I did enjoy parts of The Lies of Locke Lamora but it had too much of a ‘boy’s club’ feeling to me along with Gary Stu. Lock is just so FABULOUS at EVERYTHING, he’s a prodigy! I feel it never goes well for a character that starts out being written as Specialist of the Special.
As much as I enjoy the ripping apart of neckbeards will there be another recommendation post? I’ve read some seriously great books previously unknown to me thanks to you.
Sean Wills (@seanwillsalt)
/ December 31, 2012What’s the Scott Lynch blog post everyone is talking about? The only thing I ever hear about him is that his fans got mad when he didn’t release his next book according to their schedule.
(Also I just remembered I bought The Lies of Locke Lamora years ago and never read it. Whoops.)
oakdilettante
/ January 1, 2013here’s the blog post (2005!): http://scott-lynch.livejournal.com/159686.html
and here’s a December 2012 Guardian but flogging it: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2012/dec/11/scott-lynch-gentleman-bastards-republic-thieves
I actually think flogging the old post does him a disservice, b/c (that I’ve seen) when he does post on his LJ it is usually as a nice, normal, respectful person. I like him. “low bar” certainly covers it. :)